Balancing Motherhood and Creativity

At the very end of 2020 I had my first baby, Herbie. As a self employed illustrator with book deadlines I’ve had to juggle caring for my son and working since he was very little. A few people on Instagram have asked me how I manage it and I though I’d share my experiences and how I tried to prepare myself and my business. I’ve also asked a few fellow freelance mums who I really admire about their experience. Having a baby is a completely unique experience and it’s different for everybody, but here are some of the things that I’ve done that that have worked for me and some things I wish I’d known before. When I was pregnant I was wondered a lot about how it would work and how other people managed, so hopefully this post is useful for anyone thinking of having a baby or pregnant and wondering how it fits in with a creative career.

Before the Baby Arrived

Passive income

Having a baby is going to impact your finances; the chances are you will have a lot less time to create and sell, or you will have a big childcare bill (if you live in the U.K.), or a bit of both. Before I became pregnant I started building passive income into the heart of my business. For me this means I get royalties from books that I have written, royalties as part of my collaboration with Papier, a license fee every time one of my designs is relicensed by a greetings card company and royalties when people purchase an online course that I have taught. With royalty based earnings there’s often a lot of work upfront and usually an advance fee, and then if the book or course sells well you will have royalties down the line. This worked out great with having a baby as I could do most of the hard work before he was born, and then I had royalties coming in whilst I wasn’t able to work very much. Other sources of passive income might be to write an e-book, license your photography or illustrations on a stock website or create an online course.

Applying for maternity leave early

Maternity allowance for self-employed people is pretty rubbish, around £150 a week, but you might as well apply for it if you’re entitled to it. Allow a lot of time to apply for it. It took me three goes to apply for it because I kept filling in the application form wrong or posting them empty envelopes (!?). Baby brain is no joke. Also rather alarmingly the standard approach is to tell you that you are only getting £27 a week unless you play some national insurance contributions upfront. Again all this takes time so apply nice and early.

When to start maternity leave?

I spent a lot of time thinking about when I should start my maternity leave. Most freelancers I know like to work right up until they go into labour. I decided to start my maternity leave a month before Herbie was due and he was born a month early. I ended up only having one day of maternity leave before he arrived. I think you’ve just got to listen to your gut instinct.

Setting realistic expectations about returning to work

It’s really impossible to know how you’re going to feel after having a baby until you actually have one. I would definitely advise staying vague with clients about when you are going to be returning to work as you just don’t know how you’re going to feel physically or mentally. I definitely thought I’d be in the swing of things, have a routine and be back to work part time by 3 months, this was very much not the case! Herbie and I had a very rocky start that I never could have predicted. Once you actually have a newborn three or four months feels like no time at all. I had to go back to work when Herbie was still very little because I had a book deadline, but it wasn’t something I would’ve chosen to do otherwise.

When the Baby Arrived

Working with a Baby

If you have a full term, healthy baby, lots of support from your partner and family, and you have a really smooth recovery from the birth you might be able to get a bit of work done in the newborn days as they really do sleep a lot. Due to having premature baby born into lockdown this wasn’t how things worked out for me. The way I got work done when Herbie was little was to wear him in a stretchy sling whilst I worked. He had terrible silent reflux, so being held upright helped him have a nice long naps and I got some work done. It is a killer on the shoulders though. I also wrote a lot of emails and typed up my book one-handed during the endless breastfeeding sessions. Also when he got a bit bigger and the weather got a bit warmer my husband was able to take him out in the pram for naps which gave me a bit of time to work.

Working with a Toddler

Now that he’s a toddler I work whilst he naps in the daytime and my husband and I take it in turns taking him out so the other one can get some work done, as we are both freelance. We also have an amazing nanny who takes him two mornings a week. This summer he will be starting nursery which hopefully will be a game changer. You really can’t get any work done while they are awake. Before you have a baby you might have a fantasy that they will be playing peacefully in the background while you work from home, or maybe they will be doing some painting next to you whilst you’re working, in reality it’s just impossible. I remember saying once that we wouldn’t need any childcare because I work from home. How wrong I was! My work needs 100% of my attention and so does Herbie, so I can’t do both at the same time. But it’s true what people say, you do learn to make the most of small pockets of time and become very productive and organised.

The final thing I want to say is don’t worry if having a child doesn’t make you the most inspired or creative you’ve ever been straightaway. It might make you feel the least inspired and creative that you’ve ever been. Especially if you had a baby during the pandemic. I feel like for the last year my career has just been in maintenance mode, I have been working steadily, finishing projects that I started before Herbie was born and working with a lot of regular clients, but I haven’t really had the headspace or time to start anything new and exciting until recently. But that’s fine, he’ll only be little once and I’m giving myself grace to work at a slower pace when I need to. One day he’ll need me less and I’ll have more time and when I look back these baby days will have gone by so fast.

Brilliant advice from other creative mums

Lauren Aston - Lauren Aston Designs

Knitwear designer and small business owner

I think my advice would be to where possible prioritise doing the things you love within your business when you go back to work. When I went back to work I spent a lot of time being resentful that I was spending my few work hours doing something like accounts. Obviously sometimes that has to happen, but if you can prioritise work you love then you’ll find your working time a productive and happy time.
Also if you are working from home and someone else is looking after the baby from home and go into another room where you can close the door. Do not let that other person disturb you unless the building is on fire.

Nancy Straughan

Stylist and photographer

The main thing I wish I had known was not to expect that my career would be back on track and exactly the same as it was before as soon as the traditional maternity leave period is over at around 9 - 12 months. As a freelance creative that is absolutely not been the case for me and I wish I had relieved that pressure from myself much earlier. It’s only very recently that I have realised that I only work a couple of days a week so I couldn’t possibly be working as much or earning as much as before I had my daughter, and I wish someone would’ve told me that that’s okay.

Charlotte Wilden - Wilden London

Luxury bespoke bridal design

Even if your income has taken a hit from having children because of childcare, your creativity Is still important for several reasons. So many people encouraged me to quit, because after childcare costs, my financial contribution to the household is low and I should just take care of my child full time to save money.
I disagree. I have a partner who is jointly responsible financially and practically for our child, so it shouldn’t be up to the mother to match and exceed childcare costs with her salary alone. This perspective has helped me a lot and made taken any guilt away that I continue to work, plus I feel the childcare is so amazing for my child’s confidence outside the home which I couldn’t give her by myself.
Creativity makes you YOU, and it makes you happy, and it gives you an escape from everyday frustrations.
I need to be happy and fulfilled to be able to give my best self to my children. I love to involve my daughter in my work too, showing her what I do and making her little dress-up clothes and showing her that I have my own passions and that I work and earn money, to inspire her to follow her dreams too whatever they might be one day. She’s always asking to see my work and telling me how she loves the things I make, which feels extra nice. Motherhood brings all kinds of new experiences and that might just give you a fantastic idea for work.
Practically, it’s good to keep practice of your craft, not only the product that you make, but practicing interacting with customers and staying relevant so that you can fully relaunch when childcare is easier without too much stress and anxiety.

Willa Gebbie

Illustrator

I see a lot of people sharing photos of themselves working or drawing with their baby strapped to them. This was never my experience. Partly because it's basically impossible to do (hello broken back) and partly because it's important for me to be fully present with my kid and with my work. When I was pregnant I noticed that my female peers would share pictures of their new babies on social media but men tended to not mention them much if at all. I was worried that if I spoke about it too much that clients would presume I wasn't taking on as much work. So I chose to keep it quiet. I don't know if it made any difference but it did help me to retain an element of "the old me".

It's hard but as soon as possible learn to trust your partner/grandparent/babysitter enough to leave your child with them and not get involved. Leave the house, go and work in a cafe even if it's just for an hour. Child care is not just for day time. Don't forget to use a baby sitter to go to networking events and meet up with fellow creatives. It's good for your creative mind and soul.

Stacie Swift

Illustrator and Author

Parenthood has shown me how resilient I can be and how my work can continue to evolve and adapt in the juggle. I try to remember it’s okay for productivity to look different every day!